Ahhh- people who believe the messenger

And defend them are a dangerous breed- here's an excerpt from the "discussion" Page attached to Dr. Dyer's Wikipedia page. The Dyer defender (who is obviously not a Wikipedia editor since they improperly tagged their comments) comments have been italicized for easier reading- but I have left their spelling mistakes intact:

I've just found this article and have not picked up anything, at least so far as the state it is in now, to rouse suspicion or warrant any lengthy haggle regarding the credibility of his PhD. I have read at least two biographies which list WSU and MSU as schools with which he has studied and earned doctorates (though of course, I suppose this is meaningless in terms of giving credence to them, since it is from me). Nonetheless, why is the neutrality box still listed? Maybe some subjective material was present in its past editions, but the article is obviously now free of any over-induldged opinion or weaseling. - C.J. 03:07, 10 March 2006 (UTC)

The article is disparriging - if there is such little information to offer, then why should an alcoholic father even be mentioned, for instance. The fact that it is so uneven and sparse in content is what makes the hostile undertone so prominent.

How is the article disparaging? The information that he had an alcoholic father is, I think, probably important: since I have read it was one of his primary reasons to do what he does (motivate). Other than the ugly neutrality box, it appears to me this article is in agreeable condition. If you're so intent on fixing 'disparaging' articles in Wikipedia then I would direct you to the Turkish Air Force page, where I think criticism of quality would be better directed. - C.J. 13:48, 10 March 2006 (UTC)


If you can by any means oppose to the peaceful solutions that Wayne Dyer's teachings explains in the most accurate and humble language, you are most likely to be a fanatic coming from a religious, scientific or intellectual ground who share in common to have forgotten that we all once lived in the spirit of a smiling child.

Childrens do not care or mind about diplomas or the credibility of the thousands of spiritual Schools born on earth from man's mind.They care only to regain their inner state of joy each time something happen that takes it away from them.

That's my interpretation of what Wayne Dyer is try to tell us.

The above comment is beautiful smiling nonsense. Gareth E Kegg 00:21, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

Thank you, but I do not see how any of that is actually relevant to the issue of the neutrality of this article. - C.J. 20:52, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

Nonsense for the heartless like you, not for those who understand the meaning of a smiling kid !!

Thank you, but I do not see how that is actually relevant to the issue of the neutrality of this article. Gareth E Kegg 12:15, 13 March 2006 (UTC)

and some new thinking about "fucking"

hooks later in the book quotes from Robert Jensen, about how men falsely believe that their self hood and their patriarchal sexual identity are "one and the same"- leading men to fear sex with an intensity that females often do:

I am afraid of sex as sex is defined by the dominant culture, as practiced all around me, and projected onto magazine pages, billboards, and movie screens. I am afraid of sex because I am afraid of domination, cruelty, violence and death. I am afraid of sex because sex has hurt me and hurt lots of people I know, and because I have hurt others with sex in the past. I know that there are people out there who have been hurt by sex in ways that are beyond words, who have experienced a depth of pain that I will never fully understand...

Yes, I am afraid of sex. How could I not be?

Not a sense of victim-hood, but a desire to do no harm, to not visit violence by "fucking." That to "fuck someone" and to "fuck someone up" are not that dissimilar.
That in our society, women who consider themselves sexually empowered still wish to "be fucked", that they consider acting towards their sexuality as men have been engendered to do is a healthy feminist goal--it visits a horrible crime on themselves and their very "liberated, empowered" sexuality is then sold back to men as a desirable commodity? And all we are left with is men and women playing out patriarchal sexual roles and a bunch of people "fucking" each other [over].

bell hooks

As part of my coping with this latest (and most traumatic) failed relationship I've been doing some soul searching that involves a lot of talking and lots of reading. The first book suggested to me was, unfortunately, a flaky spiritual text by one "Dr." Wayne Dyer, called The Sacred Self. (Note to readers of self-help books, if the copyright notice doesn't have their title in it, then they probably aren't a doctor except maybe in their publishers' minds...)

UPDATE- Dr. Dyer does have an Ed.D from Wayne State University. His "people" emailed me from the Emirates Bank International- I'm sure their lawyers would have followed if I didn't correct my oversight. Snarky comments will not be published, BTW.

Not being a fan of dualism (or of books laced with whole sections in point form)- I was steered towards The Will to Change- Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks. If you read the link, hooks is an African-American feminist with some real teeth. She thinks feminism has become too academic, that the movement hasn't gotten back out to the community- go have a read.

In Will to Change she talks about the patriarchy and how it affects men. How it robs us of our emotional lives and sets us against the women in our lives. One of the striking sections that hit me like a hammer was this one, about a former partner of hers that had changed from a loving partner into an emotional abusive and foreign male- and (as she perceives it) the reasons behind it:

In the early years of our relationship he was extremely critical of male domination of women and children. Although he did not use the word "patriarchy," he understood its meaning and he opposed it. His gentle, quiet manner often lead folks to ignore him, counting him among the weak and powerless. By the age of thirty he began to assume a more macho persona, embracing the dominator model that he had once critiqued. Donning the mantle of patriarch, he gained greater respect and visibility. More women were drawn to him. He was noticed more in public spheres...

These changes in his thinking and behavior were triggered by his desire to be accepted and affirmed in a patriarchal workplace and rationalized by his desire to get ahead. His story is not unusual. Boys brutalized and victimized by patriarchy more often than not become patriarchal, embodying the abusive patriarchal masculinity that they once clearly recognized as evil. Few men brutally abused as boys in the name of patriarchal maleness courageously resist the brainwashing and remain true to themselves. Most males conform to patriarchy in one way or another.

While I was home my parents gave me a large copy of my graduation photo that they had made for me. As an eighteen year old there was a soft warmness in my eyes, an openness across my shoulders- relaxed. Now there is sarcastic hardness written across my face, I hold my body rigid and defensive. Afraid of someone taunting the gentle little loving boy that I miss so much- I hold up this barrier that is suffocating the things I used to hold dear about myself.

My intellect is a weapon instead of a strength. I'm physically repulsed by males i view as stronger or bigger than me- I typecast them as meatheads and make no effort to be nice to them. Somewhere inside I fear they will hit me. I flirt to gain constant reinforcement of my own desirability- but I fear being successful.

As I was leaving my dad gave me a big hug, teary eyed as he always is when I leave- and told me to go find that loving boy again- that he can be my ally and my strength. And I cried, too- and I will.

The double standard

If a male teacher was accused of having sex with a 17 year old student I would be furious- but for some reason I thought it okay back in the day, but this story did creep me out.

And how come all these older female teachers always get pregnant with their boy-toys? Is that why they do it? Are they preying on boys from wealthy families? Inquiring minds want to know!

So- I'm back

After 2 years :)- why you may ask.

I guess the main reason was I was dating someone who had a stalker ex-boyfriend. He knew who both of us were online and someone had tried to hack into her blog at one point- so we both seriously curtailed our online blogging to a certain extent. I also thought that the blog may become a liability in my pursuit of employment in my field and took it completely off-line for a while.

I missed it. I think she missed it more. I bought her a journal to write in but never saw her use it except maybe when we were fighting, or broken up. I liked her blog a lot. I liked mine, too- it was one of my last creative hobbies that I had time to do, that didn't cost anything.

A new acquaintance of mine asked me the other night, "Why put your diary on-line? What do you write about?" Well, anything- everything- Why?- posterity? LOL A hope to light some candle of "me"-ness in the vast hinterland of the internet? I don't really know why.

For those of you that are back, it's going to be a lot different, I think, this time around. My life is a lot different.

And yes, I will stop posting song lyrics. When your heart is broken, every pop song will seem to be about you- kinda like Billy Bragg says in...there I go again.

Thanks

A family tragedy

When I was in high school one of my close friends was in a terrible motorcycle accident. Jason was young, a member of the stage crew for my theatrical production of No Exit and was in my communications class. He was a bit of an "outsider" at school, just like me- not a preppy nor a jock. But he had lots of friends and was pretty happy go lucky.

The motorcycle accident happened on the way to Westfield, on the old two lane highway. His motorcycle (which he had begged his parents for since he turned 16) was a bit much for someone of his slight frame. Too big, too powerful- and one spring night on a dewy road he lost control and slid into an oncoming 18-wheeler.

Jason's best friend- riding as a passenger, was decapitated and killed instantly. Jason lie on the highway, conscious, his left arm and leg crushed and mangled beyond repair.

Driving home and coming upon the horrific accident minutes later was Jason's mother, a nurse at the regional hospital. Stopping to give aid, she had no idea she would find her own son- weeping and screaming, staring in stark horror at his friend's head lying two feet in front of him, unable to get away nor look away.

Jason survived the accident and I visited him the hospital as he was slowly and painfully healing. He was in constant pain for the first month and sometimes delirious from his pain killers. But he would often joke in the dark, dramatic manner of teens of the day.

"This hospital is great, but it costs an arm and a leg!"

Weeks later we were informed that Jason had died of complications from his injuries. People closer to his family told some of us the horrible truth. Unable to bear the pain and unwilling to face adapting to life without his left limbs, Jason tied a sheet around his bedpost and hung himself by rolling out of his hospital bed.

Jason's parents were mortified. Their house became a shrine to their youngest son, who had died on the motorcycle they had given to him. They never forgave themselves and their marriage faded away- and they became emotionally distant to their elder son, Eric, who had returned from university to be a grip for local production companies and the CBC.

I met Eric years after high school through my friends in the local theater. He was just like us, in his early twenties, still reading comic books and living in the artsy South End of the city. He maybe drank too much, but that was a common complaint of young people in the Maritimes. Eric seemed distant sometimes, and as I got to know him better, a bit manic. I had not made the connection between the two brothers yet.

One labour day our group of friends was invited to a house warming party for Eric and his girlfriend. In retrospect, I guess, no one went. Two weeks later we all had received late night calls or voice mails from Eric. And the next day we were told, he too had taken his life.

Buried next to his brother, his parents had treated him as a painful reminder of the departed son, and he withered into a shadow of himself. Unable to get the attention he needed, he choose to die, too, to earn the endless love of his mourning parents; to get his share.

Thinking of loss

Since November there's been a lot of loss surrounding my family and I. In November, just after I had left my non-lucrative sales job, my Aunt Judy died of breast cancer that she had been fighting for 2 years. Due to my financial situation, I couldn't go be with my mother for the funeral. But I talked to her almost every second night on the phone.

She was very shaken by Judy's death. She was my mom's kid sister- and they had been very close while growing up. But there were years where they did not talk, due, mostly, to the manipulations of their step mother and their younger half sister.

Mom has been very concerned that my brothers and I aren't very close. We aren't. I'm not much like my older brother; my younger brother, too. They are both very happy, warm, loving fathers to my 2 nieces and nephews- but their families and wives and in-laws keep them pretty busy in the Maritimes, while my studies and work and play have kept me in Montreal most of my adult life.

When we do see each other- I do have so much to tell them- if I can get them alone for a moment. I want to hear them talk about their daily joys with their families, the fierce passions that lead them to wed their wives, their satisfaction in their jobs. The softness of their mornings together. I want to be convinced that if my life became like theirs that I, too, could be happy. Could be peacefully contented.

I want to hear it so badly. I want something akin to their lives for myself- I want to have a home and be loved unconditionally, to have and be an ally to my wife, to have security and raise beautiful, smart children who love themselves and their friends.

But they never say it. When I do try to evoke the discussion, I get nothing but the Disney tour of their lives. We tour from one posed photo to the next.

So, I leave- distant, I fill in the details of their lives with cliches I've seen on sitcoms. I don't call them often when I'm away, and I don't send them birthday cards very often.

My mom had a heart attack last year, followed just recently with my father's cancer scare. I went to be with them for a month. And I saw that my parents are just as distant with my brothers as I am. They try, they try so hard, but my brothers are oblivious to the pain this is causing them.

My mom and dad are worried that once they are gone that we brothers will all end up as strangers- that there will be nothing left of our family- in any real sense. That we will be diminished without the loving, close relationship like she had with her sister.

I wonder if we have all lost out on something already.

Nick Cave- master lyricist

She Fell Away

Once she lay open like a road
Carved apart the madness that I stumbled from
But she fell away
She fell away
Shed me like a skin
She fell away
Left me holding everything

Once the road lay open like a girl
And we drank and laughed and threw the bottle over
But she fell away
She fell away
I did not see the cracks form
As I knelt to pray
I did not see the crevice yawn, no

Sometimes
At night i feel the end it is at hand
My pistol going crazy in my hand
For she fell away
O she fell away
Walked me to the brink
She fell away
I did not see her fall
To better days
Sometimes i wonder was she ever really there at all
She fell away
She fell away
She fell away

Can't sleep

It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been so in love with her.

PS- by james

You're a weapon of devotion
Keep the faithful entertained
You're a lover of attention
Found a way to pawn the soul
Disposition may be fetching
But the world moves on and leaves you far behind

I hear you, I hear you, whispering such gorgeous stories
I see you, I see you, trying to break free
You liar, you liar, you can't live the dreams you're spinning
You liar, love to be deceived

You're falling, you're falling, falling from your god-like distance
You're fashion, just fashion, fashion doesn't keep
You're sour, so sour, all this hope and trust is misplaced
You're sour, now you are alone

Walking on fire, feel the way the world's inclining
Walking on fire, hate to deceive
Walking on fire, now the world will keep its distance
Walking on fire, you rather than me

My son says, dear father, what did you do when the world turned over
Keep spinning, keep spinning, send us off to sleep
You liar, you liar, all your words are just dust in moonshine
You liar, love to be deceived

Walking on fire, found a place away from humans
Walking on fire, hate to deceive
Walking on fire, now the world will keep its distance
Walking on fire, you rather than me

Dear Heather, (or a McGill Ghetto Love Story)

Since I met you whilst we were both moving into our respective flats I have yet to have run into you at the dep-nor have we seen each other while taking out the Thursday morning trash...

I thought it might have been my aversion to your spider plant, which I helped you carry to your flat; one hand on the pot, one on my ethanol and OJ- oops- that may have been a turn off right there... but it seems you are co-habitating with a fairly rotund person- who I assume may be your slightly mental retarded brother...

But to see you locked in some sort of affectionate embrace this morning with this below 30% guy!!!!- this morning on my way to my Fortune 500 job at a fashionable, executive, and totally sleeping in because I did too much K last night,10:30 AM, ---I see YOU!! -tongue wrestling with a man who out-weighs you 2 to 1... well....


-well-

...I think it's over-

I mean, I've watched for you, every night when I come home from work and go into the kitchen, and you don't have blinds yet, and look if you are making martinis and searching about for olives-

I have some, and would have rung your bell---but no-


I see your slightly mentally disadvantaged brother all the time- pretending to barbecue in his garish shorts, hanging out his linens (are those really his boxers??? I have some diet supplements he might want to try! I thought they were part of a bed-set...)

Anyways- despite your bad choices in incest, I am still here next door- pining as it were- your red hair forever flowing across my chest, my hands caressing the birthmark on your neck.

Oh- and your mother thinks he's a dork- she told me last night- so call me...

J

On the raising of teenage girls...

Overheard on St. Laurent and Duluth:
"So- I don't know if it's related...but I keep breaking out in zits after I sucked his dick...so I stopped..."

Stopping may not help, BTW...

Parents of the world- please read on. Your teenage girls are a holy terror and are in desperate need of guidance. And so are you.

Teach your children to bend down at the knees, please- not at the waist. This will greatly improve their appearance when picking up change, their handbags, and other items at ground level.

If you are going to allow them to dress as sluts-in-training, and they are of Greek, Armenian or other Baltic heritage please wax their backs and/or navel regions. This is a highly disturbing sight.

"So young, so trashy, and soooo hairy.."

And if they want to go an "all ages" concert at La Tulipe and get super wasted because the bartender will serve them anyways, please write their age across their forehead in permament ink, and their address on their hand, so the cops will know where to drop them off.

Just because they want to dress like Christina Aguilera or Marilyn Manson doesn't mean you have to let them wear hotpants or get peices of metal shot through their toungues. They are still, mostly- I hope, children, and deserve a childhood of some sort before becoming some sort of twisted palette for MTV, the fashion industry, and Dow Corning Silicones.

When the Qur'an isn't a Qur'an

When it is not held by a believer, it is just a book. Only when one who holds faith reads it is it a sacred text.

How many people have used their motel room bible to cut coke on? Or prop open the window, much to the overall disabuse of the book as a whole?

Turbo works for Facists

With no sense of excitment:

BANNED CONTENT ALERT
A banned word or phrase was discovered. The file has been removed. See your system administrator for further information.
Context: '[Message Body]'Content Rule(s): '

Sex (English) > Severity - High,

Profanity (English) > Severity - High'

See your system administrator for further information.
Copyright © 1993-2004 Networks Associates Technology, Inc.All Rights Reserved.http://www.mcafeesecurity.com

Happy Earth Day

To celebrate I ate at McDonald's, twice. And I left my bottles outside for the homeless to recycle.

What's mother Earth ever done for me? Eh? No cards, no calls, and she certainly didn't help out with my tuition...

Bitch.

YUL Blog's newest member...

I love the "Ask Not, Tell Not" nature of the YulBlog- it let's a certain dangerous side of the web sit alongside chili recipes and single-mom blogs- Hell- that's the only reason I'm there...*



Also- last year- I think, in May, Turbo and I were asked to attend and do some judging at the Montreal Amatuer Pornography Social at the Vatican- we were thouroughly entertained and disgusted. So, whoever is running Foo1- you better be at next month's Cabane meeting. I'll buy you a drink.


*I'm not a total crunk-head- I just play one on the internet...

If you were waiting for a good opportunity to renounce Catholicism- NOW is the time!

Some excerpts from a 1986 letter from your new Pope. Click the title above to read the whole thing. All emphasis mine.

"Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith October 1, 1986

1. The issue of homosexuality and the moral evaluation of homosexual acts have increasingly become a matter of public debate, even in Catholic circles. Since this debate often advances arguments and makes assertions inconsistent with the teaching of the Catholic Church, it is quite rightly a cause for concern to all engaged in the pastoral ministry, and this Congregation has judged it to be of sufficiently grave and widespread importance to address to the Bishops of the Catholic Church this Letter on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons."
...
3. Explicit treatment of the problem was given in this Congregation's "Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics" of December 29, 1975. That document stressed the duty of trying to understand the homosexual condition and noted that culpability for homosexual acts should only be judged with prudence. At the same time the Congregation took note of the distinction commonly drawn between the homosexual condition or tendency and individual homosexual actions. These were described as deprived of their essential and indispensable finality, as being "intrinsically disordered", and able in no case to be approved of (cf. n. 8, sect. 4).

In the discussion which followed the publication of the Declaration, however, an overly benign interpretation was given to the homosexual condition itself, some going so far as to call it neutral, or even good. Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.

-all of you humanists out there, take a deep breath. The air is about to get a lot fouler around here before it gets any better.

Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope: A brief guide to everything Pope-like and somewhat holy-

Or- more aptly:

"A Brief Guide to a Caretaker Pope whom Everyone Could Agree Upon Until Enough Conservative Conclave Members Die off so We Can Save the Church from Itself by Removing Its Holy Head from Its Holy Arse."

From Wikipedia with some editting by moi:

"His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, officially (in Latin) Benedictus XVI, born Joseph Alois Ratzinger (Latin: Iosephus Ratzinger) (April 16, 1927), was elected Pope of the Roman Catholic Church on April 19, 2005. As such, he is Bishop of Rome, Sovereign of the Vatican City State and head of the Roman Catholic Church, including the Eastern Rite Churches in communion with the Holy See. He will be formally installed as pontiff during the Mass of Papal Installation on April 24, 2005. (Jesus- what kind of scenester will you have to be to get tickets to that?)

Hey! If the hat fits, wear it :)

At 78 years of age, he is the oldest pope elected since Pope Clement XII in 1730, and is the first German pope since Adrian VI (1522–1523) who was both German and Dutch because he lived in what is now the Netherlands (boring, exhasutive details- THANKS!!), which was a conglomerate of German provinces at the time of his papacy. Benedict is the 8th German pope in history; the first was Gregory V. The last Benedict, Benedict XV, served as pontiff from 1914 to 1922 and thus reigned during World War I. (And it was ALL HIS FAULT, BTW!)

He was appointed prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith by Pope John Paul II in 1981, made a Cardinal Bishop of the episcopal see of Velletri-Segni in 1993, and was elected Dean of the College of Cardinals in 2002, becoming titular bishop of Ostia.(Yes- it is two links- here is a condensed read....) He was already one of the most influential men in the Vatican and a close associate of the late John Paul II (some would say bossom buddies, if not for the whole homo-erotic undertones of men of the cloth [with big hats] patting each other on the ass after making free throws...wait- wrong film...) before he became pope. He also presided over the funeral of John Paul II and the Conclave in 2005 which elected him (say it with me dear readers- vote rigging and influence peddling). During the most recent sede vacante (sounds kinky- like Hedonism but better), he was the highest-ranking official in the Catholic Church.

"Damn it, Jesus- this one is for your remains for FUCK's SAKE!"

Some see Benedict as a traditionalist, others as merely orthodox (unfortunately- I beleive he is "merely orthodox" in the truest sense of the phrase- he holds all of the proper opinions and moral values any good Catholic should have), but almost all observers agree that he is a staunch defender of Catholic doctrine. He is a critic of homosexuality, same-sex marriage, and abortion and has spoken about the unique role of the Catholic Church in salvation (I'm vechlempt all over here, hat boy...) and has called all other Christian churches and ecclesial communities deficient(BURN!). As a Cardinal, he wrote Truth and Tolerance, a book in which he denounces the use of tolerance as an excuse to distort the truth. Benedict also participated as a priest in the Second Vatican Council and has continued to defend the council, including Nostra Aetate, the document on respect of other religions and the declaration of the right to religious freedom. He was viewed during the time of the council as a liberal. As the Prefect for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Benedict most clearly spelled out the Catholic Church's position on other religions in the document Dominus Iesus which also talks about the proper way to engage in ecumenical dialogue.

JGirl- the Musical

My pal Jenn is starting an internet radio show tonight at 1 AM EST- link above! Maybe breaks- but definately some groovey house via mtl/CHI/B.C.

If you missed it live it is available for download for 7 days afterward! Give it a whirl!

Why I am not a good Leftist

Even though I have exhibitted signs of being a bleeding heart Liberal (yes, with a captal "l") I have never been very comfortable in their midst..ie: at the protest against seal hunting, or peace marches in general- especially the ones lately....

Something deep inside me is Draconian- and I fear I have a deep respect for utilitatianism. I want shit done, I want it done right, and I want it done NOW.

"I'm in too much of a hurry for instant gratification."
Zippy the Pinhead

So- as far as my faults on the "Left" go:

On not growing up so soon...

So- on my daily must read list is Rampant Intellectualism, which mainly contains none...

Nobody wants to grow up and the dirty little secret is that no one ever does. Sure, we're all trying to pull off some outward display of responsibility but inside, the synapses are just haywire and you know what they're saying?

go fuck on the beach.

This signal is being interrupted with another one.

drink a beer.

These are wrapped up in even more thoughts like box full of tangled shoelaces.

Run! Run away! Run as hard as you can and jump. Jump in something. In the water. Off a ledge. Away from here. Climb a tree. Catch frogs.

One More Year

If I had to have a female version of myself- it would appear to be Care over at "One More Year"

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is all bruised and spongy."

"If the goal last night was to get utterly smashed and not remember my walk home, then I accomplished my goal. If the goal was to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do, then I accomplished that goal as well. If my goal was to pass out naked with Futurama playing in the background, well damned if I didn't accomplish that one as well. It was a great night."

Now if that doesn't sound like something I have done, I don't know what else would.

Gender Confusion

Blogs, like Winamp and your cell phone, can be skinned- and when I say skinned, I mean they can have a certain look and feel that may confuse people.

As the recent audio posts attest to- I am a male- and the gorgeous redhead that some of you think has been writing these posts is, sad to say, just our Official Hotperson, Julia Bonk, pictured here again:

So, please- even though you now know I am not an 18 year old cutey, please continue to send your cash donations and gifts of seductive lingerie. They make excellent parting gifts for our female contestants...

What every little WASP boy wants on a Friday night...

You'd think it would be understood...

When you leave a voice message for someone you've been sleeping with that:
"I'm not doing much tonight- why don't you drop by later?" that you are not wanting to sit around and watch TV? or is this something that you have to spell out?