God is a funny guy. He sends his only son down to muck around with us lower beings, keeps him alive for 32 or so years, then lets us ace him with a spear (or die on a cross if you read the King James version of events)- and then sets him on a whirlwind tour of nobodies who will say he has risen.
So, 2000+ years later we in the Christian West get a four day weekend where we can feast, celebrate our faith in Jesus, do Spring cleaning...
-or get down and dirty with our paychecks (deposited one day early because of the banking holidays) and ride the fun times until Monday, 9:44 PM- when we decide to blog after decanting ourselves in the bath for an hour.
Hmmm- Thursday night seems an infinite time ago. Being recently plunged into singledom by my own lack of self-knowledge and/or control (some may argue it is also a mix of the two, with a healthy dash of self loathing and with a side of fear of commitment) I was out for cinq-a-sept with two of my co-workers for a round of drinks after work. We went to the bar on the ground floor of my office, which we will refer to as Pizza Mary's.
The Gang at Pizza Mary's- cheap beers a go-go
Pizza Mary's suffers from a few of Montreal's common bar problems- lacking a dance floor that is not the tightly cramped chairs and tables, horrible and greasy free appetizers on Thursday night, no shooter special at all, and horrible, mind numbing satellite music feed over the PA instead of a DJ.
All in all, the three dollar drinks can be skipped in the future. The fact my uninspired co-workers have chosen such an insipid drinking hole demonstrates their lack of taste and utter boorishness.
Cut to 9PM- a select group wanders out to invade the ever stylish "Casper's" which is not far away, and luckily downhill next to the Dubbya Hotel. Inside it is loud and packed with a bizarre mix of downtown internet nerds, mid-fashion office women in their Friday night best, and all the regulars from Upper Club that I can name- but won't. We decide to move to the back of the smoking section where hearing yourself think is
almost possible- the six of us proceed to have the following disjointed conversation as we attempt to mingle.
CAST-
Me (mtlanglo)- early thirties, single, male
Harry- early forties, divorced, male- graying. Has dated more women in the past year than al my friends combined.
Mark- late twenties, taken but talks like a scoundrel- has been wearing the same suit all week.
La Bella Donna- 22, is actually Romanian, is desperate to find a reason to finally break it off with her 33 year old asshole bartender boyfriend.
Vicky- the female smoker of the group, unknown age but maybe 26- maybe 16- none of us could tell and we weren't asking
Greco- the larger, younger girl with an unfortunate moustache and a statuesque 5'8" in flats.
Harry- I'm going to force my way to the bar- I think the waiter forgot us.
Me- What if returns? Should we do two rounds?
Mark (quietly)- I'm flat out- so none for me.
La Bella Donna- (over hearing)- Oh, Marky, allow me to buy you a drink.
Me- Harry, I'll get the round here if it shows up- you go to the bar.
Greco- Bella- when are we leaving?
Bella- You know you just met these nice men...
Vicky- I'm moving over there to have a cigarette.
Me- I assume we can smoke here now that the kitchen is closed-
Mark-no, Mtlanglo, why don't you go have a smoke with Vicky?
Me- Because I'm overseeing the missing drinks.
Vicky (walks off).
Greco- I need to use the
washroom.(walks off in different direction)
[pause]
Me- Bella, what the fuck is up with your friends?
Bella- I told them I was meeting three guys from work- and here you are! (smiles)
Me (as quietly as possible in a screaming packed resto)- are they under the mistaken impression this is some sort of set up?
Bella- "Set up"...what is that?
Mark- (fumes)
Me- like when you tried to play Cupid or something- like they expect us to be their dates or some-such.
Bella- (raising voice) What? You don't like my girlfriends?
What is wrong with them? Vicky likes you!!
Me- That's
great, Bella, but we just got here, we have plans tonight and I can't hear myself think.
Bella- Then I think we are leaving.
Mark (quietly, to me)- Good work- who do you think I would have been stuck with?
Me (fuming- no reply) .......
The scene at Stereobar for Uzibee of Soultek!
And, so- after one round the ladies all leave- the round after, so do we- to hit Stereobar- where we proceed to buy drinks for the waitstaff down from Daome, the DJ, and the promoter of the night- and then promptly have drinks bought for us- and so on- until it is 2 AM and we are faced with the dilemma- to go all night and show up fuckered for work, or go home and get 4 hours sleep.
Sleep wins- it is, after all, a long weekend...
