My RSS feed seems to be taking a LONG time

Other things of note-
*********************************
My parents are THOSE people you hear about on the internet who sign up for $100 for some marketing thing that makes no sense. I never would have thought- but then again they did try selling Amway back in the eighties.
*********************************
The little things my roommates do that don't fit into my perfect, idealized, ordered little universe are starting to drive me nuts a bit. They are also exerting something my therapist says is their "free will", whatever the fuck that is.

All of which has been severely damaging my calm.

ie: "This hook is for the wash cloth, this is for the tea towel. Fuck it up again and you will loose all kitchen privileges."

"-Who am I to make these rules? You question my correctness and authority? (Insert low guttural, wet giggle raising to a full maniacal laugh) You'll see, you'll see..."
*********************************
My new job sounds a lot more interesting when I describe it in detail than if I just say, "Sales."
*********************************
A woman I just met on Easter weekend and have partied with a bit, Marie, seems to know everyone I do, and not through me. And she isn't even on facebook. Today she was at an art studio open house that I went to with a friend I hadn't hung out with for 2 years. This is freaking me out a bit.
*********************************
The thing I think about most while walking the plateau in the sticky hot weather is Black Books- the episode "Fever" where Bernard is lamenting that he needs a "summer girl"- with summer friends who know how to be out of doors...

"You throw your hair back and laugh as we bicycle around the Cotswolds in a taxi. You flick the cherry off the pie and only eat the cream because that's what Aunty Nibs used to do."

-I especially want to have sex in the grass this year. And in the water somewhere- in the Atlantic most of all. And in nightclub washrooms and on rooftops. In my apartment elevator while the damn thing is jammed up betwixt floors- no!!!-better yet my ex's elevator, which actually has those waist high rails that give you such a good leverage point... I wouldn't really count out public transport, either.

Yes- I will eventually get locked up if I don't get an air conditioner. But if L. Lohan is still walking the streets I think I'm far enough down the list that I can enjoy myself this summer.

and some new thinking about "fucking"

hooks later in the book quotes from Robert Jensen, about how men falsely believe that their self hood and their patriarchal sexual identity are "one and the same"- leading men to fear sex with an intensity that females often do:

I am afraid of sex as sex is defined by the dominant culture, as practiced all around me, and projected onto magazine pages, billboards, and movie screens. I am afraid of sex because I am afraid of domination, cruelty, violence and death. I am afraid of sex because sex has hurt me and hurt lots of people I know, and because I have hurt others with sex in the past. I know that there are people out there who have been hurt by sex in ways that are beyond words, who have experienced a depth of pain that I will never fully understand...

Yes, I am afraid of sex. How could I not be?

Not a sense of victim-hood, but a desire to do no harm, to not visit violence by "fucking." That to "fuck someone" and to "fuck someone up" are not that dissimilar.
That in our society, women who consider themselves sexually empowered still wish to "be fucked", that they consider acting towards their sexuality as men have been engendered to do is a healthy feminist goal--it visits a horrible crime on themselves and their very "liberated, empowered" sexuality is then sold back to men as a desirable commodity? And all we are left with is men and women playing out patriarchal sexual roles and a bunch of people "fucking" each other [over].