Muffler troubles

Well, no- the muffler is too hot and starts melting the handle of the umbrella.

Solution- in the back of my car is a collection of half-full water bottles from various weekend after-hours.

Unscrew- spritz muffler with water, grasp with hands- yank off.

Works well- but the muffler is very dirty, and two of the hooks on the assembly are quite sturdy (despite the fact that the pipe leading to the engine seems to be rusted completely in half, and there is a fist sized rust hole in the muffler itself!) I have to get some sort of tool to loosen the rubber mountings around the U-bolt that is preventing me from getting to work.

I consider just not going to work.

I look in the car for said tool- seems the fucker who got my wallet and cell phone also found my leather-man in the side compartment of my driver door...

So I grab the underside of my rear bumper, test my weight, and kick the muffler off with my sandaled feet. Fun! Put muffler in my trunk, notice a slight burning smell on my way to work- ignore it. Park in the underground lot. Hope the car catches fire, explodes, building burns down so I can leave and get some sleep.