Thursday- why always Thursday

Thursday is pretty much the last day you have to do your laundry before the weekend- especially if all your club clothes are dirty. Some men don't know what clubbing clothes are, let alone own any. They are clothes that you could neither wear to the office, nor to a sports bar. Clothes that smell particularly of spilt gin, cigarette smoke and cologne. Usually dark in color- with piping.

They usually have faint discoloration in the arm pit areas from excessive dance-sweat. No one will ever notice that, though, because the clubs are too dark 90% of the time to recognize people from further than 3 feet away.

Socks- black athletic socks that aren't too thick. Black sneakers that you can dance in for 12 hours that no doorman would dare point out while trying to enforce a "no runners" policy.

A secondary cell phone that you can slip your SIM card into that you wouldn't care if it got lost. That phone should fit easily into a good, expensive pair of jeans that makes your ass look OK and doesn't drag on the ground, getting under your feet while dancing.

A pair of lightly tinted sunglasses from the dollar store that will never get lost, and never break. The $80 pair you buy at the Sunglass Hut will get knocked off your head within the first hour of wearing them- so why bother.

One silver zippo you can find if you ever drop it on the dance floor. Black lighters, forget about it. (you can hear the zippo being kicked around and track it via sonar, too- even above the music. It has its own particular sound...)

One coat with interior, sealing pockets for the stuff you don't want to take into the club- like your driver's license/health card, maybe the cell phone, the travel tooth brush. If there is a good after party you may want to bring a messenger bag with extra shirt and socks and maybe some deodorant.

Hats- optional. But please- have some originality.