Basil- when and why did you call my cell phone? are u insane? do you know what day it is? It is WEDNESDAY the day of sleeping in and being extremely hungover! did u not read my facebook events for yesterday? I was at MELANIE'S birthday party at McLean's- then at Salone Daome- where i caught a chair with MY HAND and broke or sprained or horribly disfigured my thumb and i have no idea why I am even trying to type with this swollen and bruised monstrous limb.
and I am blaming YOU! yes- I know you weren't there or anything or that you are pretty innocent in general but you were the one who called me and left messages on my cell phone and then the little fucking thing was BEEPING for hours this morning while I was trying to sleep off this HORRIBLE hangover---
GOD- I got some fucking fat chick's phone number last night- what a fucking mess...
I may need you to come over and help me set up a wireless bridge over here for the kids on the other side of the apartment.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "MAYBE" attend my housewarming- god- don't make me beg you.. and bring some single women this time that DON'T charge for sex... what are married buddies for except to attract single women and pawn them off on their older, wiser, more available buddies.
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11 comments:
I do a pretty mean Hunter S. Thompson imitation when I am hung over :)
lol- that's literally the email I got that afternoon.
"some fucking fat chick"? wow. you DO have a way with words. classy.
I think he was over emphasizing for effect, perhaps...
i apparently didn't get the memo that misogyny was okay if it was exaggerated. my bad.
Well if this keeps up I am going to disable anonymous comments :)
But, yes, the tone and the ALL CAPS should have suggested a more flippant, joking tone throughout the post- people who have met me would know I am trying to imitate a certain tone that says to hell with political correctness, I want to pretend to be ranting and say thing only an asshole would say.
But there it is, it may offend, I clearly see that, and it may not be a very nice thing to say about anyone- but I said it and there it is.
It's like I said a few Christmas' ago, "You do realize that I am not a complete crackhead, I just play one on the internet."
Don't confuse this metareality with the real deal.
maybe he's just not into fat chicks?
Irony's such a convenient rhetorical defense - so long as you acknowledge that you know you're being offensive, anyone who actually takes offense is over-reacting. Of course, it works better when you're trying to make a more worthwhile point than 'Ewww, fat chicks.'
http://www.thesuperficial.com/
maybe i can blame the media i consume.
sorry, Andrea- I hope my next few posts will be less offensive- I'd hate to loose you as a reader.
Censoring yourself for your readership is silly. There are few things I enjoy more than riotous debate and provocative postings. Be as offensive as you'd like, so long as you don't mind opinionated folks like me weighing in every so often... :)
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