This just in-

...I am considering reorganizing my room to create better Feng Shui for my new occasional guest. I've been trying to explain my rather boring scientific view of the world to her, but she is persuasively happy and ... balanced.

There might be something to all this yoga and middle eastern philosophy. There might also be something up with my theory that my kitten is the Anti-Christ and that Cthullu is living next door-



-WAITING

I did confess to her last night that I read a bunch of Carlos Casteneda's books in my early twenties- but that I thought it was mainly fictional, much like Journey to the East was.

Anyway- time to move the bed...

If I was the King of Nepal

Would I suspend the constitution, enforce martial law and kick out the bloated, self-congratulatory bureaucrats the people elected so I could get my 78,000 man Royal Nepalese Army (of which I am the Supreme Commander, BTW- it gives me a hard on just thinking of it!) back to the job of hunting down and humiliating the Maoist rebels who have been disturbing MY country for the past eight years.

Damn straight I would. This "multi-party democracy" thing never really worked, anyway...

"Critics argue that the governmental reforms did not appreciably improve the political order because the new government was also characterized by extreme corruption bordering on kleptocracy."- from Wikipedia

Why are all the Western media and governments wringing their collective hands over this "human rights issue"? Because- it's a knee-jerk reaction to any perceived loss of "human rights" by people who aren't our enemies. I didn't see CNN, CBC, or Tony Blair getting their panties wet when the Homeland security bill was passed- or when the US military turned their little tip of Cuba into a concentration camp that even offends the sensibilities of people I have suspected of being slightly fascist...

But if someone else is giving special powers to the military to shut down radio stations, place the leaders of the political parties under house arrest and starts diverting commercial air-traffic- well then, maybe they haven't really got this democracy thing figured out...

_________________________________________________________

Have a look at this man on the right:

و قد أدان كل من بوشبا كمال دهال (pushpa kamal dahal)

His name is Pushpa Kamal Dahal. His group of Maoist rebels have been involved in an "insurgency" (to use the current term in vogue) that has lead to the deaths of over 10,000 people in the last 7 years. Why? Because they want a socialist state.

Great! Why not just win an election? What's that.... not Maoist enough for you? Need a cultural revolution, do you?

Fuck you- we've got LOTS of AK-47s to go around and those discounted Russian helicopter gunships I traded for some mineral rights just arrived (courtesy of the Georgians) and they should make quick work of your "mountain fighters" once we Agent Orange the lower valleys and drive you into the arms of the Indian border patrols- who, let me assure you, are prepared to mow you down, on site, and have rigged the entire border with enough flechette anti-personnel mines to make the Korean DMZ look like Main Street at Disney Land.

Soviet made MI24 Helicopter gunship- Boxing Day sale, now 30% off!

This is what running a country is about- take notes. When push comes to shove and all you lefties are crying over "peace" and "human rights" my troops will be out there protecting the good Nepalese people. They'll be defending them with guns, jet fighters, ample amounts of napalm, and assault helicopters. If that makes some white-assed academics and liberal bleeding hearts in the West upset, I say go get your own country and let me know how that works out for you.

I can even start you out with 10,000 Maoist rebels who will soon be out of work.

King Gyanendra

OK- here we go

Despite my general lack of exposure to current pop and rock, I think it is time for me to check out this band Metric- I seem to recall Bunny reviewing them and people I rely on musically have all given thumbs up.

Here we go...

Putting a kind face on a Frightening Concept

We are currently at Master Shake level here people (see side bar!)
You have to love the crew over at Geekandproud.net, they certainly make some entertaining stuff! I wish I could find the site yesterday who summed it up perfectly, I'll paraphrase:

"You either get the idea of a sketchy six-foot tall talking milkshake or you don't..."

The New High Art

"Sheep porn with Gimps, Security, and the Moral Majority Looking Aghast"
2005 Media- pixels on MS Paint

Taken with ATI Radeon AIW 9600 Pro on ViewSonic G220f monitor.

And I think we mean "High" in this case. If you are in Montreal next weekend you HAVE to go to the Underground Legacy party and mix it up with us house-heads- click the photo for details.

Haloscan commenting and trackback

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog. Please test her out and experiment with the trackback feature, too!

Would love to know who's talking about me. In the end; isn't this a form a narcissism?



Oh, and Anti- thanks for the link to the Crunktionary yesterday! And to here last month! Your readers seem to like it around here- can't thank you enough!

(ps- Haloscan advises for me not to post, etc. for 24 hours in order for blogger to "save" the code properly...here goes...)

Google search: Crunkfest

The Crunktionary- redefining life one word at a time
We be getting massive bling hits for the word "crunkfest" lately. And we Number 1, with a bullet.

Get on the links, dawgs- we been crunky over here.

Mtlanglo,
Doctor of Crunkology.

Gimme some Microsoft crack

The hazards of late night instant messaging. The Sheep will rise again!

Daily Briefing: There Will Be Violence Edition

Wonkette - Daily Briefing: There Will Be Violence Edition
I gotta hand it to this site- Wonkette sure knows how to write a headline. I read this EVERYDAY, almost all day- it is exhausting and exhaustive...

Anyway! The week in review!!- randomly, since I was nursing the dreaded Montreal Death Flu coupled with a bout of "I can not leave my apartment because the weather will smite me."


It is Sunday morning as I write this- I have had no additives(and only 2 beers!) since last Saturday afternoon and yet I am wide awake with only 4 hours sleep since waking up Friday... I am listening to Benny Benassi after having relieved RE-SFACTION from HEAVY rotation four months ago because I was going to get evicted for playing it so much. I'm totally falling for it again and I am JUMPING BACK AND FORTH in my room with the head phones on...
Who's spinning at Stereo right now??? Why aren't I there??

I was biologically pre-destined to go dancing, it seems. Or for late night/early morning blogging; whichever is kinkier...

But I should sleep- I have a breakfast meeting with my promoting partner as we are putting the finishing touches on a Tsunami Relief benefit at Juice Night club on St. Laurent. It's going down on Jan 27th--DJ's are still a secret- but I'll post the "fly-ah" as soon as I get it :-)

And then I am going skating- which I have not done since I was a whelp. Back in the Trudeau years---yes, that's a looooong time ago. Why am I going? Because a cute girl asked me to! And it seemed like the perfect follow up date- a dash of embarrassment, a bad skater, cold weather followed by mulled wine- almost Rockwellian...


-except I think I'll be the one with the bruised ass!

Too much TV- during my convalescence I seem to have taken 200+ screen captures of various TV shows I was surfing. I have no idea what now to do with this vast array of bizarre images except embarrass myself and my contacts at flickr by uploading them in lieu of me actually developing any of the film I've shot in the past 3 years... If any of my readers wanted to donate a Pro upgrade to my cause there are instructions on the site :)


Too much CNN- is Lou Dobbs the densest person in the world? Does he not get ANYTHING? There were two US Supreme Court rulings this week, one about judges following federal Guidelines for sentencing, the other didn't get much media play as it came out the same day.

They ruled that the US can not keep immigrants in prison ad infinitum after their sentences have been served if (for various reasons) they can not deport them to their country of origin.

Standard US policy now is that non-landed immigrants who have been convicted of a felony serve their sentence and are summarily deported. This doesn't work so well with countries like Cuba, so they have just been keeping them in prison, long after their sentence has been served!

And Lou Dobbs- he is flummoxed-"Now what are we going to do?"(unspoken--on lips "...with these people")- Hey, Lou... How about giving these people a kick at the freedom can? I know they screwed it up LAST TIME you offered them life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness- but if your prisons can't turn a decent Cuban refugee into someone you can fucking golf with, why are you so hot to send these broken shells of humanity back to their poverty stricken homelands? Didn't they serve their sentence, Lou, thus repaying their "debt to society"- ie: your society?

Jeesh, Lou, stop taking your wife's medication and start having an opinion once in a while! You're on FREAKING CNN, Lou!! You have the ball and the only person left downfield is the place kicker- give him a straight arm and get the 6 points. Form a complete moral idea that isn't based on who's an American and who isn't- that shit is old and once this war hangover wears off people are gonna start calling all of you on it again, and it ain't gonna be pretty.

This weekend, please

Check out The Pinocchio Theory off of my link list- there is a great, informative (and, informed) review of After the New Economy by Doug Henwood.


If you're even slightly interested in economics, that is :)

My Blog looks like Ass in MS IE

I apologize to all you Microserfs out there- I am on it...

mtlanglo

Aftermath

It's a mere four weeks until George W. Bush is inaugurated for his second term as President of the United States of America and I am still trying to piece together an intelligent, cohesive vision of what has been happening south of the border. Here's what I've got so far.

The Left (pardon the phrase;as unhelpful as it is, it is of their own making) is taking this opportunity to demonize those voters who pulled the Republican handle in the voting booth. First and foremost of these is the site Sorry Everybody which compiles photos of Americans who voted for Kerry apologizing for their Republican neighbours. Some of the photos are poetic, some are touching- but the sentiment isn't very constructive. And the medium isn't very conducive to addressing any of the deeper issues:

• since many people who actually think about these kinds of things know that foreign troops will be in Iraq for close to ten years. And that the resulting traumatized state left behind will be no long term friend of the West...
  
• that the world view on US foreign policy is not going to be altered much until the Bush Doctrine is abandoned and vilified as the illegal Cowboy Diplomacy it is.
  
• that there is a strong chance that America's over-all level of hubris and spite will isolate them even more in the coming decades from their traditional allies.
  
• that their electoral system is allowing a faction of the Republican party to create a thinly veiled theocracy that threatens to plunge their nation into some kind of deformed consumerist, anti-intellectual, militarized ghetto.

The war in Afghanistan was the most shocking event of my life time. It set a Christian super-power upon an actual Muslim Theocracy. The long term implications of this in the rest of the Muslim world is incalculable; but the lack of acknowledgement or even awareness of this amongst the American population is a stunning example of how far removed the U.S. population is from having the tools to engage in useful discourse about foreign policy, government, morality... Bushes re-election is one symptom of that- Kerry's utter failure to bring light to this and other foreign policy issues is another.

Shouting out "It's the Crusades, stupid!" would be stretching the point a bit too far, but not by much. President George W. Bush said it first:

"This is a new kind of, a new kind of evil. And the American people are beginning to understand. This crusade, this war on terrorism, is going to take a while. And American people must be patient."
Washington, D.C., Sept. 16, 2001

Without any ability to understand why they are under siege, without any hope of entering a dialogue with their enemy, there will be no peace for America. This legacy can not be laid at the feet of this administration, nor any party's.

I fear, more than anything, I fear that it is the end result of that thing we call American culture. The American Dream. The rampant pursuit of wealth in the face of environmental degradation. Holywood's perpetual habit of selling narcissism and jingoism as entertainment. The use of American capitol to manipulate foreign markets and economies. The Myth of the American Century, the American millennia. All has lead to a society full of gaily coloured peacocks, set loose in a wonderland of 24/7 convenience and technological marvel, protected by a vastly expensive military that refuses to show it's own dead arriving home.

This is what I fear America is becoming and, I fear, by extension and proximity, what we may become as well.

Scratch one off of the wishlist

Amazon.ca: DVD: Akira (Signature Series)


I hope my neighbours aren't going to mind feeling the full effects of my Dolby 5.1 surround sound system tonight, biatches!!! THIS should make me feel MUCH BETTER...

See my wishlist here.

Miho Hatori

Miho Hatori - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You may have noticed a lack of original content lately... too bad- it is a web/ log and I think I have the flu- MY GOD my head hurts!- so- here is another random sampling of what I am webbing- hope it continues to entertain and enlighten...

Dim Sum Plates

Lindsay Lohan Photos

An amazingly candid look at her Thanksgiving photos. Gosh- she's almost normal looking except for that orange tan...

OMG Get over yourself now, Please

Jesus- Dido has a 10 minute plus song on her Life for Rent CD.



Which is approximately 8 minutes longer than she has been sentient...

Big news... Six Apart and LiveJournal!

I have to hand it to the People at LiveJournal, they have a really good PR person on staff. This sounds so casual and intimately friendly- it made me involuntarily smile !
Why is Six Apart buying LiveJournal?
Lots of reasons:

• Our companies are more alike than different.
• We both use Perl.
• Together we form super robot that's stronger than the sum of its parts.
• Super robots can fight super companies.
• They respect us, we respect them.
• We have a number of features they don't.
• We have experience with making "inward-facing" community sites, whereas their sites/products tend to be "outward-facing". They want some of that inward-facing action.
• Because we're awesome.

I suppose they spent much time on this, and I hope they do well as super robot.

Teacher Arrested for Alleged Lewd Acts

from Gorilla Mask.net

"Another teacher arrested for having sex with her students. Does anyone else want to line up all these 13-year-old boys and give them high fives?"

Yep.

100 things we didn't know this time last year

I know, I know; the year end was last week, but this is too inspiring:


24. Germany has an 18-year-old MP - Julia Bonk, a member of the Saxony legislature. Her name is not funny in German. (and she's a hotty!)

63. Just one in a hundred workers goes to the pub for their lunch, according to a study. The same proportion spend lunch having sex.

and for all you blogaholics;

65. "Square eyes" might be real - Australian researchers have found that children who spend a long time inside watching television or on computers become more susceptible to short-sightedness.

Thanks to MJ over at Lightspeed Chick ;-)

RELEASE YOURSELF

Life can be hard when your wife wakes up one Friday night and decides to do a belly full of pills and go out dancing until the next afternoon- take the case of Malcom and Maureen from across the pond...posting about their lives on the Roger Sanchez message board, Release Yourself- Boy, did they ever! Various board members then have their say... (edited for space- click the title for the whole kabang)


Malcolm (Maureen's Hubby)
Thought I'd better let the more responsible members of this board know that my 7yr marriage to the love of my life Maureen is at an end. For the most part it was wonderful and I'll never forget the twinkle in her eye the day we were married and set off to Blackpool Tower (mtlanglo: Blackpool Tower?? Sounds like a laugh a minute...)for our honeymoon. For 6 wonderful years she was there waiting with my steak and chips or stew and dumplings when I got home from work - I'll especially miss the lumps in the mash potato on a Sunday(you sound like a git- I'd trade you for half a line).

Then she had the misfortune to get mixed up with a crowd for whom morals and family standards are but a rumour. My loving, kitchen-bound wife was turned overnight into what some of would call a 'party animal', going out to those awful loud nightclubs and not coming home for days on end.

The last of these occasions was on New Year when she was supposed to be joining the more than ample festivities at cousin Vera's house but instead went to somewhere called the Ministry Of Noise to see some girl called Ericka. Maureen didn't get home until 4 days later and was muttering things about wobble jizzle, mayonaise, chalk drawings, dressage and being vaporised, whatever all that means(LOL!!! She sounds fun!!). Needless to say that was the final straw and divorce proceedings have begun.

Let this be a warning to any of you who may be tempted by this so called 'BFC' and may I also warn to be careful should you ever see Maureen when you're out and about. She's developed a disturbing tendency to hump mens's legs, especially if they're a 'dj' - this was extremely embarrassing at our John's wedding disco(WTF is a wedding disco?) a few weeks ago and it took 3 strong blokes to get her off.

Yours
(A Heartbroken)
Malcolm
_________________
35 yr old male, 5ft 9, brown hair, green eyes, 160lbs, hairline receding but not quite past it yet, interested in gardening, darts, dominoes and the odd game of bowls - seeks woman of similar age and interests. Must be good at cooking, washing, ironing, darning socks and like nothing more than a night at the workingman's club (none of that house music malarky). (it is at this point that I start thinking this is a put-on- hmmm-could be a creative writing excercise...)

RSenalBaby
i seriously just fell off the chair at work
the kids had to come and pick their teacher up off the floor i am laughing so hard

you deserve an emmy award malcolm the mysterious hubby!

_________________
HI, I'm Simon, and I like to do drawrings! I also like to do f*ckered things!

mericet
don't feel sorry for him groovin .... he's well rid of her. i'm perhaps the one in need of sympathy ... pp's on the warpath so it sounds like things are about to get uuggglly

_________________
"Horseplay always ends in tears" - English proverb

Maureen
Well yes...things ARE about to get ugly Malcolm...Who do you think you are, Roger, dropping lines like that? You have one set on you and I dont mean cufflinks! and boy were you right it sure is about to get ugly in here....

Don't you try to paint a picture like it was all smiles and dumplings. You were married to your tax calculator and stock reports and left me pining for more for years now. Just because I found new friends who love adventure and travel and wonderful music doesnt mean I'm a slapper or a git! I was kitchen bound only because there was no warmth in the bedroom where it belongs. At least I had an oven and a space heater to warm me at nite! You leave my mayonaise, wobble jizzle and land of chalk drawrings alone you hear...you have NO right!



You're bitter because I have found true happiness and vaporisation (once I find out what this is I want to try it...) that has made me a better woman Malcolm! This all could have been avoided if home truly was where the heart was Malcolm, and your a heartless breed for posting such lies here on these nice peoples forum. Leave me and my house music friends to be, we're in our own little world and we are happy here!

p.s. Stop calling me and playing "Back Together"on the receiver, I do enjoy house music these days, but not from your stereo you cheeky monkey! It won't work, I'm but a mere memory for you!

Disgruntled,
Maureen

_________________
In the wise words of the Pianoheadz~ "It's over for you, It's over for you... Honey, I loved you, but cant you see..It's over for you!"

groovin
"At least I had an oven and a space heater to warm me at nite "




No wonder She went to see ericka on new years!!

_________________
House is universal lanquage!!!!

Maureen wrote:

Well yes...things ARE about to get ugly Malcolm...Who do you think you are, Roger, dropping lines like that? You have one set on you and I dont mean cufflinks and boy were you right it sure is about to get ugly in here....

mericet
err ... sorry to burst your bubble my leg humping friend but it was me who said it was about to get ugly in here, not your poor husband. and even then it was my tongue in cheek spat with emma to which i was referring .... not some old slapper who's trying to relive her mispent youth (mericet making friends- love these young kids with no manners...)

_________________
"Horseplay always ends in tears" - English proverb

StereoGrrl (ie: Sabs)
Are we watching an episode of "As the Disco Ball Turns"?

_________________
Will u always remember, will it last forever, was it what u imagined, or did it feel like magic


Malcolm (Maureen's Hubby)
My dear Maureen please don't drag this out and make yourself look any more foolish than you have already done. The good people of this forum obviously knew what you were truly like long before I'd realised. The only phone calls I've made of late have been to my solicitor (that's a lawyer for the benefit of our American friends) (Thanks, but we all saw A Fish Called Wanda and have that down, asshole!) and I have certainly not been playing any music to you. Maybe you've spent too long in that 'la la land' that you were muttering about when you finally returned home from your latest night of debauchery with your immoral 'friends' and are struggling to find your way back to reality?

It no longer matters however because I've been searching the personal ads and feel I've found someone with whom I can be truly happy. Her name is Sabrina and she looks very pretty in her ad. Rather like that 'DJ Heather'(DJ Heather is a tad less pale than Sabs---what have you been snorting?) you talked about so much but far more elegant. I believe she browses this forum under the guise of StereoGrrl and while I accept the geography may be a small problem I feel sure the bond between us would be so strong that moving continents would be of little concern. While she displays a worrying interest in this 'house music' I also see a bit of the old Charlie Dimmock in her and feel she'd be right at home on our little allotment. Sabrina - if you're reading this and feel the same as I then please feel free to get in touch. I left my number on your personal
ad earlier.

Yours
Mal

StereoGrrl
I don't really think that was me - This post is getting stranger and stranger!



Malcolm (Maureen's Hubby)

StereoGrrl wrote:

I don't really think that was me - This post is getting stranger and stranger!

It was definitely you because there can't be two people so alike. I know Manchester is a long way from Montreal but it could work if we just gave it a chance. Don't worry about Maureen because she won't be around. What do you say Sabrina?

StereoGrrl
This is bizarre. (To say the least- you need better on-line personas)

Bolando
Why is it when Maureen gets on here, all hell breaks loose

Urgh- Gulog or Winterwonderland

I guess the only real way to feel sexy while wearing thermal underpants is to wear really tight jeans. I'll see if I can post some photographic evidence later tonight.

The Cure

After having listened to various genres of house and electronic music being spun by my friends, local DJ's and some of the best DJs in the world all weekend what do I listen to with my "morning" coffee?


This!

Memorable Moments of the past 72 hours

Waiting 90 minutes for my luggage.

Last meal- pizza, Friday, 4PM

What Sumi would later describe as "The Dance Off."

The desire to leave a house party with someone but know you have a ticket for a $95 party you are already late for.

Deelle singing the New Years day theme song "Beat That Bitch with a Bat" whilst jabbing Sumi with a plastic bat.

Seeing some white American dudes do some hardcore breakdancing, free verse rapping and trying to get our Canadian goads up while we were completely fucked.

Having someone tell you a shocking story, and then reading the sanatized version (read: without the charges) written on a message board the next day.

Being glad it is hailing because it "feels nice."

owwww